Reflections: Wardrobe Choices

Since Monday I've been giving more thought to differences between what I did or how acted before I was married versus now. One such difference involves wardrobe choices. If you don't know me, you're probably thinking I'm really shallow. The reason I noticed clothes is that until recently I didn't have a lot of confidence when it came to fashion (I had a list of style guidelines that I typically did not stray from). I stuck to tried and true classics in a few safe colors: brown, black, and grey with some beige or white. 

There were a pair of red shoes that I got when we first started dating (and a pink evening gown) but that was it.

Photography Credit: Jessica Palopoli via Flickr

The other reason I noticed clothes is that I've started noticing when either of us gets a tear or a moth hole.

Growing up my mom made sure us kids took care of our things. If a string appeared it was dealt with before we left the house. Buttons were reattached when they first became loose, not when they were dangling from a thread. Moth holes or snags were mended.

When my mom took us shopping, we looked at the construction of seams and buttonhole stitching. We evaluated the quality and the type of the material and notions. We looked at cleaning instructions (cotton that required dry cleaning was something to be wary of).

My mom would remind us not to put shoes on without unbuckling or untying them (you can damage the heel of your shoe). The same went for dresses and zippers. She would caution about yanking a hanger through the neckline rather than carefully working it out the bottom (you can stretch or tear necklines). She would ask us to put our clothes and shoes neatly away (less likelihood of a cat accidentally snagging a favorite shirt or scratching the toe of a loafer). We got new clothes at the start of school (specifically shoes and a jacket as we wore uniforms) and for special occasions and holidays. I learned by taking care of items and by coordinating purchases my closet would grow and I'd have more clothing options.

At some point I forgot these values. I started working in a real estate office when I was in high school. If a heel broke, the shoes went into the trash not down the street to the cobbler. If a button fell off, the item went to Goodwill. People didn't leverage separates and you rarely saw the same outfit more than once a month.

When I got my first job after college I took the values from the real estate office with me. I'd routinely refresh my entire closet each season. I went for quantity over quality at times. Some pieces barely lasted a season. Looking back now I think what a waste. Now don't get me wrong, I actually still have many items that have stood the test of time; some habits - looking for quality materials and sturdy seams and hang drying or laying flat to dry - die hard. I have evening clutches from my high school proms. I have my dress from my junior prom. I have wool skirts from my first job as a manager. My favorite pair of cowboy boots were with me before I moved to Texas and are at least 13 years old. I have tops from H&M that are seven years old (no fading, stretching, or piling). I think what a waste because of the resources that went into creating a disposable item. I also think about how much money I squandered. Money I could have saved for more important things.

Now that I'm married, I find myself, rather than tossing an item in a bag for Goodwill, for someone else to fix, putting it next to my sewing machine. I fixed pockets that were beginning to tear off. I fixed a seam that had come open. This was new for me, or not new, but a return to how I grew up.

Recently my attitude towards clothing and accessories changed as well. The inflection point I think was when I got the dress my mom wore when leaving her wedding wedding reception. The number of compliments I received made me think about what was different - style, cut, and color. In one outfit, I introduced shocking neon pink into a sea of blacks, grays, browns, blues, creams, and whites.

This is where you might think I'm shallow. In the past when I'd been dating someone - once we got to the comfortable part of the relationship - I'd chose clothes based purely on comfort, for example, a sweatshirt and baggy jeans. I'd dash out of the house without really giving my hair or appearance much thought. Basically I wasn't trying any more. This time - now married - I care about dressing to impress my husband; I don't want him to think I'm taking him for granted. I put thought into the clothes I selected when we went on dates before we were married; I want to do the same now that we're married. I'm more of a morning person than he is, but I want him to know as I'm dashing out the door on my way to work that I thought about him.

Since my mom's dress moved into regular rotation in my wardrobe, I've been shopping at thrift stores or online at Etsy or Ruby Lane or eBay. This isn't a cost savings move. It's not a green statement either. It's purely selfish. Vintage items are made better than most items today. They've usually been well cared for. Most items fit me without any significant tailoring - I sometimes need to hem items as I'm only 5' 3". I like not being tied or limited by silhouettes that are on store shelves.

I wore retro/vintage - although schoolmates called it hand-me downs back then - and custom designed and tailored clothes (aka handsewn) when I was growing up. While many were wearing 1950s inspired clothing, I was wearing 1950s and 1960s fashions from my mom's closet. I also regularly re-envisioned and recreated outfits with my mom's help. (My high school prom dress has been through so many reincarnations that my last request for a scoop neckline was met with a firm no.) I can't believe I went through a phase where I thought buying this season's hot brand was "grown up." Looking back that seems incredibly childish.

As the number of vintage (or retro) pieces in my wardrobe have increased, I've started caring for my wardrobe again. Now shoes and boots regularly go to the cobbler for minor repairs. I polish and clean purses. I've been replacing items when worn out or if uncomfortable with coordinated separates and judiciously adding pops of color. I've been mending moth holes, snags, and tears.

This week I gave new life to a dress that no longer fit - that I loved. I changed it into a top. It hits at exactly the right spot - Tim Gunn would be proud - and I actually like the top better than I liked the dress. Now instead of looking at the dress and being sad that I can't wear it anymore - it was one of two items I got on my first shopping trip with cubes and our friend Skippy - I'm able to remember the fun we had that day.

Anything you've noticed you started/stopped doing when you got married?

Ciao Bella!

Eden

 

Credits: Photograph of my red shoes taken by Jessica Palopoli.